Couples Group Psychotherapy by Coché Judith;

Author:Coché, Judith; [JUDITH A. COCHÉ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group
Published: 2011-09-16T00:00:00+00:00

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The preceding examples are merely a few of the myriad subjects for discussion between members of a couple who are able to work together financially.

In-Laws and Family of Origin

One of the most important tasks facing each couple is to form a marital unit that has its own solidarity and independence without alienating the respective families of origin of each partner. Simplistic or drastic solutions (e.g., cutting off ties) cause considerable grief in the future of the couple. Continued dependence on parents or siblings robs the couple of its own identity. There is little choice but to individuate. Bringing this conflict into the open, where couples can try to process it, can be freeing for many group members.

Dealing with the aging parents of either partner is a subcategory in the in-laws group of issues. The parents’ dependence on the younger couple creates new challenges that may overwhelm the strength of the couple. The death of a parent and the emotional turmoil created by this event strain the marriage further.

Exercises that can assist with these themes include a family genogram that traces how anger was handled in family of origin, how female authority was managed by men in a three-generation family, patterns of divorce and remarriage in a clan, or tracing addictions through three generations.

Children

In the “good old days,” couples married and had babies, but this is no longer the case. The decision of whether or not to have children and, if so, at what point in the development of the marriage represents a major hurdle for many couples. Once the choice has been made and children are there, differing expectations of who is responsible for what produce marital dilemmas. As the children get older, issues of triangulation and playing parents against each other become new tests of marital strength.

When one is designing an exercise for couples around children, it is frequently difficult to find something that touches each couple in the group. Most of the time, the group members are at different developmental stages in relation to raising children. Only more broad-based difficulties, such as the amount of time allotted for career versus children versus spouse, touch all couples, with or without children.

One of the most powerful exercises is deceptively simple. Each person in the group ranks the importance of three issues: financial stability, children, and marriage. No ties are allowed and ranking must be done quickly. After each has written down his or her ranking, partners take turns reading out their hierarchies. The discrepancies between two marriage partners are usually quite remarkable and present an excellent stimulus for discussion. It is important in the discussion to clarify that no superiority of one answer over the other is implied in the question; rather, differences in rankings may be giving a couple trouble and are deserving of further attention.

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